RIGHT SIDE UP!! :)

ARTIST LIFE SPIRAL

SORRY, this pic is upside down...perhaps not a bad thing though, could give a different perspective on things. Hopefully folks will be able to get a jist of things from the closeups also.

I really liked the readings on symbols. The idea that has most stuck in my head is the concept of "symbols can not be seperated from their meaning". Which makes me think back to a previous reading that talked about how we are limited by the symbols that we use. They have their limitations as to what they can express even at the same time as they try to express things that 'cannot quite be grasped'.

I also appreciated all the examples in the first reading and how the author wrote very plainly about a subject that could become quite confusing.

It was interesting comparing signs v.s. symbols and how signs have no 'excess meaning' and can be replaced according to what is current. The distinction is never something that I have thought about before. What also resonated with me is that not everyone thinks in symbols or symbology and not everyone accepts symbols. As the author says, "In order to actually experience symbols as symbols...we must be prepared to respond emotionally". So engaging the emotions is an intrinsic part of using, reading and interpreting symbols.

All this information was good for me to have in the background as I worked on my spiral. I realized that the symbols that I used have personal significance to ME but now I also have a broader understanding that they might also have significance and meaning for someone else. This new awareness around using symbols is and will be very important to me as I incorporate more symbols into my artwork.

Fleshy with Stilletos

The collage has been on my closet door for a week now.....I keep looking at it and noticing the contrast in colors between the top and the bottom (the more blue is actually on top). The bottom is so fleshy...fleshy with stilletos.

All week I've been looking at it and thinking, "what will I post, what will I post....". It seems redundant to say the obvious; that I(we) am bombarded with images of how I 'should' look, behave, act, live etc. etc. It is so obvious, so infused in our culture, it is like saying "the leaves on that tree are green". And still, I am under it's influence on a day to day basis. The fashion models get thinner and younger and I get older and thicker around the middle.

So, on that note, it is pretty depressing.... there MUST be another note to follow.

Ah, found one! Last nite I was visiting with my friend G. (not her real initial). We were talking about art, phsycology, drinking and smoking. G was having some white wine that I had brought and I was drinking non-alcoholic beer. G was also smoking a cig and I was very jealous of both her alcohol consumption and her nicotine consumption. I am on a 41 day abstinence from all my favorite things; meat, alcohol and cigarettes (actually don't eat meat but i love fish). We were talking about the cliche of the 'tortured' artist and how they are always drinking and smoking (humbling to realize that you are a cliche) and that there is this myth that to get in touch with with that deeper darker place you have to be self destructive to do so. G. had a genius insite as she smoked her parliment and drank her chardonnay; it's just more glamorous and sexy. It's more glamorous and sexy but it doesn't really get you there. It doesn't really get you into the juicy, gritty, soul stuff that I am supposed to be getting into as an artist. IN FACT, said G., it just serves as a big distraction. I thought this to be a very true and insightful observation.

So, getting back to the collage...all the flesh, cleavage and stilletos are very glamorous and sexy. They are what glamorous and sexy are all about. And even though I appreciate glamorous and sexy and find it very fun on occasion, it isn't what it is all about. It isn't what I'm about and it isn't what real women are about and it isn't what life is all about. It is fantasy. Fun, but fantasy.

So, the bigger question... why do we feel so compelled to distract ourselves SO much and so completely for most of our lives??? What are we running/hiding from? Why is it so scary? Who can show us the way out? Perhaps my readers would like to comment on this question?

Ribbons and Ink

It was so good to be back at JFK tonite. Seeing some familiar faces and some new ones and once again touching that magical place of meditation-ritual-art. My relationship to that place has grown stagnant in just 3 short weeks. Contributors to the stagnation was tremendous stress at work and working 6 days a week for a month. I feel like I have started to have some more balance again and tonites class was a gentle reminder of the direction I need to be traveling.