Looking back over the 3 mandalas it is obvious to me that this is the one I did before going to sleep. Even though I was in bed and ready for sleep my mind was still going a mile a minute. I was thinking, thinking, thinking......

The intellectual aspect of this mandala is very obvious to me. This style of art work is not usually what I'm drawn to just because of the heavy intellectual component. But it was also very interesting to see how my mind can make up images depending on my state of mind.

It was easier than I thought it would be to wake up at 3:30 a.m. to do this mandala. I was very surprised as to the image that came out. Even though I was technically 'awake' it became very clear to me that some other part of my consciousness was operating. My waking mind was just the vehicle for whatever was going on.

I remember mostly waking up and feeling grateful as I made this mandala. Grateful to be at JFKU, grateful to be in this class, grateful to be back after the Thanksgiving break. And I remembered feeling the same feeling I had after the 3 week summer break; a great relief to be back in school. It is some kind of anchor for me; some kind of validation for a reality that is so hard to find in my everyday world. Again and again I remind myself that I need to cultivate that in my life more. I think that I am not sure how to sometimes.

Before leaving class last nite I talked to Robbyn about doing my mandalas and she affirmed that it would be a good nite to do it since it was a full moon. It was so nice to talk to Robbyn and have this understanding about the full moon without having to go into explanations or justifications. We have a shared knowledge about the moon being full and the significance of that. It is almost like speaking another language or being in a secret club. I realize that I hunger for that kind of reality more than I let on to myself.

3 Mandalas

As I woke up, I resisted the temptation to grab a cup of coffee before I did my waking mandala. I wanted to stay with my state of mind as much as possible. I knew that if I even got out of bed and started my morning routine that it would influence my mandala. This was not about routine. This was about the mind just waking and I was curious and I wanted to find out what it was about.

I was surprised at how easily I fell into making my mandala and how easily I became unconcerned by the concept of time. I am usually racing with time in the morning, but today I took just a few moments to be present with this process. An image of water with strong quiet waves filled my mind. I realized that my mind had 'settled' with the sleep that I had had. And the flurry of activity at 3:30 a.m. had subsided. It was a tangible example of what sleep does to my mind, for my mind and therefore for my body as well. It was a reminder of what an important tool it is. It was also great investigating the different times and the mood that each held. The first waking mood was calm, peaceful, recharged and open.

SACRED SPACES/SACRED CORNERS

For as long as I can remember I have collected things. There were the usual seashells from Ocean Beach along with polished beach glass and black stones that looked much prettier when they were wet from the ocean water.

As I got a little older I graduated to forest like things; gold and red maple leaves that littered the ground in GG Park, twigs with green moss growing on them, more rocks, feathers and of course flowers.

Still maturing, I started to boldly incorporate small plastic toys, brightly colored anything, broken glass, found objects, junk store finds, and lace that someone else's grandmother made.

For years I did this. Not knowing what compelled me to pick up some shiny object from the street that everyone else easily passed by. Once I found a great treasure; a wooden box and in it a notebook that was half burned. The spiral binding was still intact. It stayed in the corner of my room for a couple of years. Someone else's dreams-memories-confessions half burned away waiting to be either disposed of or made into art. I finally did throw it away and wondered why I had kept it for so long......

Now I collect more than ever; a friends heart shaped doggie treats, a broken skull and cross earring that's been run over several times, bright orange crepe paper that the thanksgiving flowers were wrapped in, old poetry books, magazines....the list is endless. I collect now with a fervor and intention that was lacking earlier. Now everything that I am drawn to has some small spark of meaning, some small intention as it whispers for me to pick it up. Now everything has the possibility of something more than just itself for now it will be mixed, combined and married to some other finds.

This process has me picking up small miracles as I go along in my day. Little tidbits left by the Divine Mother for me to contemplate and play with; little clues to the mystery that is an almost invisible undercurrent that is constantly flowing around us.