After the poem.....

I knew that I had to do a painting after I wrote the poem. It is not necessarily one of my best and I feel like it still needs work. So far though, I haven't had the desire to touch it again. It's possible that it will just exist in its raw state and I will make more later.

I was a bit shocked at how much emotion surfaced for me around the concept of grief. And, to some degree, I have been unaware of how I have internalized my own experience.

When I lost my partner I was devastated and felt as if I had been split open. To be torn apart in such a way was violent and excruciatingly painful. The flip side (and yes, there was a flip side) is that it tore things down in me that needed to be torn down. It opened me up (to myself) in a way that nothing else could and left me transformed in a way that I could not ignore. It was necessary, no, vital, that I have that experience. It is part of the path that has led me to where I am now....following my dream.